Marriage, etc.

Marriage is a subject that has been on my mind a lot lately. Not because of any changes or possible changes in my status, but it seems as though everyone in my age group is running to the altar. A few former classmates, co-workers, even the boyfriend's little sister have either gotten married or announced engagments in the past year.

This terrifies me. It isn't because I'm anti-marriage or want to get married myself. The thing that scares me is that most of these people aren't old enough to legally drink! That said, I'm not judging anyone. I don't know everything about each individual relationship. Everyone has different reasons, circumstances, etc. I just think it's a little too early. I honestly and sincerely hope that I am wrong, and that everyone/anyone I am currently thinking of never has to deal with a divorce in five years.

Most of these couples have been together for less time than my boyfriend and me. I don't know if we're just freaks of nature, but we've pretty much decided that after three years and a few months, a wedding is nowhere on the radar. After one year or so, (which is how long most of these people have been together) , how can anyone, especially someone under the age of 21 know that he/she wants to be with this person forever?

Granted, none of these people are going to school at this point. Perhaps that makes a difference. Perhaps school is just a way of prolonging immaturity and delaying "true" adulthood. I'm not sure; however, I think that regardless of any sort of advanced schooling, most people change immensely in their beliefs, ideas and ambitions in their late teens and 20's. How many people were the same person at 26 that they were at 20? If this significant other is really "the one", won't they still be there in a few years?

This sudden wave of marriage is also putting a lot of unwanted pressure on me. I know that nobody who has ever made a comment really means anything bad by it, but it still annoys me. A former co-worker recently announced her engagement, and I made the joking comment that it's been three years and I still don't have a ring. She replied, "I was actually thinking about that. You two have been together for a while longer than us. When are you two finally going to get married?" As I say to every other person, never.

As I mentioned earlier, the boyfriend's little sister has a wedding coming up this spring. This guy has only been in the picture for a little over a year or so. I can only imagine the comments there will be following that day. Granted, they have a son together (born just Tuesday!) so the circumstances are quite different from mine.

I feel as though in the past year there has been all of this pressure on me to get a ring and have a wedding and all of that other wonderful stuff little girls dream of. Honestly, I think that I am still far too young and immature. I've only been able to buy alcohol for three months. I still have (at least) a full year left of school. I have no idea where I will be in two years from now, much less the rest of my life. Although we have been living together for two years and are probably as close to marriage as people can be without ceremonies and children, I see no need to make things "official". I do see this boyfriend in the long-term future, but I don't think I need a ring to keep him there. If he really is "the one", he will still be around sometime in the distant future when marriage is on my mind.